Seriously!?

I think it is time that we all just came to grips with reality on a topic that is central to any American’s core group of values and ideals.  We can start this journey to a happy reality by answering a question that I think we’ve all heard many times in our life and exponentially more since Nick Swardson’s stand-up special.  The question of course is: Seriously, who farted?  The blockbuster answer to this legendary query is John Goodman.  This information must be shocking to some, morbid to others, and simply irrelevant to most.  Its my belief that John Goodman has been stuffing himself with pine flavored twinkies and  amazingly marketing the smell from his very own flatulence .  Sounds gross but even more surprising is how popular this aroma is around the country.  Although it remains popular in only a few demographics, this scent has been used for years by many who were actually looking to improve their scent.  Companies around the country  sell this “scent” under the name Patchouli.  The people profiled as Patchouli “users” are normally males and females from 17-34, long dirty hair, pants that look like they were made from bed sheets, wearing a baja, smells of bad pot (or worse), and shirts that make you wonder where someone would even purchase such a thing.

Reality check.  Clearly everything I just said is BS …..  Well maybe not the profile part….  Or the pretty accurate description of what Patchouli smells like to people with working noses.  Patchouli is actually just a plant.  Like a lot of plant species Patchouli has an aroma.  The scent is powerful and has been used in several different ways throughout history including perfumes.  One of the other uses is insect repellant.  Most insects are attracted to sweet smells (Like most perfumes), so Patchouli offers a vile smell with a rare combination of uninterest and nothing to offer.  Let us all just come to terms with the truth here.  Patchouli smells terrible and cannot honestly be a desirable smell to any fully functional nose/person.  And if you truly believe you are improving your scent then I can’t imagine what you must smell like to encourage such behavior.

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